If you have been
attacked for being too sensitive, we hope after reading this beautiful
essay, you will have the insight to realize that it is, in reality, a
compliment.
IN DEFENSE OF SENSITIVITY
One of the most common accusations which abusers hurl at their victims
is the phrase, "You're too sensitive!" This phrase, or one of
its relatives, strikes fear into the heart of many an abuse survivor. It
has been thrown from the mouths of abusers and well-meaning (but
oblivious) folks alike, as if sensitivity were an unforgivable crime or
a heinous act of rebellion. More often than not, it is during times when
the victim decides to defend themselves or point out the abuse that the
perpetrator chooses to use this particular phrase. The situation varies,
but the tone of voice is always full of scorn and contempt as the
offender furrows their brow, interrupts their intended victim, and
unleashes the terrible accusation, "You're just too
sensitive!"
Well, this page is here to ask: What the hell is wrong with being
sensitive?!
Why do people feel they must treat sensitivity as a topic of scorn? Why
is sensitivity treated as something inferior, undesirable, or outright
horrible? Why do abusers spit out the label of sensitivity as if it were
an insult? Is there something wrong with sensitive people? Is it a bad
thing to be sensitive? Are sensitive people defective somehow? Is it a
character flaw?
I don't doubt that many victims of abuse are more sensitive than the
average person. But I seriously doubt that sensitivity is a sign of
weakness, inferiority, or defectivity. Nor do I believe that there is
anything wrong with being sensitive (although the way some people talk,
you'd think it was the unforgivable sin).
Now, with some broad generalizations, here are the reasons why
sensitivity is beautiful.
Sensitive people care about others. They can feel the pain and
joys of other people, and empathize along with them. They understand how
others feel, and can meet their needs. They notice when people need help,
and they have a great deal of compassion. Sensitive people are the ones
who provide a shoulder to cry on, flowers on your birthday, or a hot meal
for a hungry stomach. They bring patience into the world, and try to ease
suffering, not so much with medicines and food, but with empathy and
hands-on care. They understand what hurts a person, and refrain from
hurting them. Sensitive people meet others' needs where insensitive people
do not.
Sensitive people bring beauty to the world. Many sensitive
people are artists, musicians, poets, or writers. The passionate melodies
of Tchaikovsky's ballets or the deeply moving paintings of Artemisia
Gentileschi (and other Renaissance masters) could not have been created
without great aesthetic sensitivity and deep, heartfelt emotion. The
artists of the world have painted, danced, sung, written, and composed the
entire range of human experience and feeling; and they could not have done
so were they not sensitive to the human condition. It is not a clod who
creates a masterpiece.
Sensitive people recognize the beauty already in the world.
Sensitive people stop and smell the roses. They notice the beauty of the
sunset, they hear the precious melody of a child's laughter, they love
animals. They enjoy a starry night or a lovely piece of music. They take
off their shoes and wriggle them in the sand on the beach. Perhaps they
cry at sad movies. Sensitive people find pleasure in beautiful things.
Sensitive people are a gift from God.If you're a survivor of
abuse, I'll bet no one ever told you this. Sensitive people bring love and
hope to the world, things which humanity could sure use a whole lot of.
