Thin up to his feet jumped me frind, Paddy Burke.
And I saw by his eye he was wild as a Turk.
" Mr. Chairman," he said, wid an accent of scorn,
" I am proud to confiss I'm an Oirishman born!
For owld Oireland's the home of Gallantry and Wit,
Where Beauty and Love in swate partnership sit;
Wid the prettiest of colleens, the greenest of sod.
And bhoys that would foight for the pure love of God;
Religion and larnin' on her brightly smiled,
When the Scotch and the English were cannibals wild;
And whatever they havestatesman, warrior, poet,
They may brag as they loike, but to Oireland they owe it!
What's the Scotch ? They were kicked out of Oireland.
bedad!
And stole from me country the name that it had:
Their Wallace and Bruce, spite of all their to-do,
Couldn't twirl a shillelah wid Brian Boru!
And poor Rabby Burns that they boast of—och shure—
Couldn't grind out a pome like our own Tommy Moore!
For solemn hypocrisy, maneness and pride,
Shure, Scotty is famous the whole world wide;
And if snuffling and shuffling, deciption and lies,
Is your model of right, give the Scotchman the prize!
And thin, what's thim English, I'm wanting to know,
That they howld up their heads wid their bluster and blow?
Don't they know that they never were able to bate
Owld Oireland, and lay her subdued at their fate,
Till by bribery and fraud they extinguished her name,
And sowld her poor childer to misery and shame!
The big, bloated Saxons may boast of their bravery,
But its bowld Oirish sodgers that win every fight:
And they never need brag of abolishing slavery
While Oireland is ruled wid Oppression and Might.
To be honest and candid, John Bull is a baste,
That for beef and for beer has a gluttonous taste;
He worships his belly, or gold is his god,
And he rules like a tyrant wid merciless rod!
Then you spake about scenery, climate and sky;
But Oireland's the place that entrances the eye:
Lake, mountain, and valley, and river has she,
And she lies like an emerald gim in the sea.
Her people so chivalrous, witty and brave,
Some day will arise and her honour will save;
Wid a Parliament sitting in fair College Green,
We'll forget the dark days as they never had been.
Parnell, Dillon, and Redmond will shine as great heroes,
When your Gladstone and Forster are hated as Neros;
And when John Bull and Sandy have perished together,
We'll join in the chorus 'Owld Oireland for ever!'"
"Owld Oireland for ever! Whoop! Hullabaloo!"
I cried, as me hat to the ceiling I threw;
"I seconds that motion; and thim that dissint
Let them step to the door and I'll give them a hint.
If a word 'gainst me poor bleeding country ye've got,
I invoite yez to tramp on the tail ov me coat,
I invoite yez to thry on this very same spot
To show yer supayrior variety! "
There was nobody stirred, so I just says: "All right ;
Ye consint by yer silence yez don't mane to fight,
And confiss that owld Oireland's the victor to-night,
At the Burns Club and Scottish Society!"
As I sat down in triumph, the lovely young gell
Who sat by me side sez—" Ye did very well!"
Thin she blushed, and her eyes to the flure quickly fell,
Wid the natest and swatest propriety.
Thin we walked away home by the moon's gentle light,
And wid pleasure I hung on her glances so bright,
And a nice little courtship was started that night,
At the Burns Club and Scottish Society!
Now, if any young man has a mind to improve,
Without help of Professor or College;
If he wants to expayrience the pleasures of love,
Nicely mixed wid the pleasures of knowledge—
If he wants a karakter for larnin' and wit,
If he wants lovely girls wid his charms to be smit,
If he wants to escape from the snares of the pit,
And be famed for his dacent sobriety,
Let him quit all the pranks he indulged in of yore,
And come where divarshun and profit's in store—
Where the Jaynius of Larnin' sits over the door
At the Burns Club and Scottish Society!
John Liddell Kelly was born near near Airdrie, Scotland on Feb. 19,
1850. He emigrated to New Zealand in 1880 where he worked as a journalist and
became assistant editor / editor of the Auckland Star; Auckland Observer; Lyttelton Times; and the New Zealand
Times, as well as publishing his own works.
